DEVELOPMENTS

So what has been happening since my recovery?

Well, as explained on the 'Theory' page, it was important that I recognised the 'order' in which I tackled this problem with panic. Firstly, I had to understand what was the real 'issue' here? Was it my initial thoughts or my reaction to them? After realising that it was my reaction, I then finally 'clicked' with the actual process that took place.

As stated, I realised that I was actually 'forcing' myself into this reactionary process. In the past, I moved so swiftly into it that it was impossible to combat effectively, as I was confused and didn't know what was happening. I no longer follow this 'questioning' routine with my initial thoughts/controls and, instead, run with them. However, it is a very subtle process at times, hence the reason why I only realised what I was doing exactly when I was really suffering. When you start to feel better, you can easily slip back into this thought 'checking' if you're not careful.

As a result, I let these thoughts 'come and go' naturally. This may be a surprise to many panic sufferers as you may feel that if you feel a certain way or have a certain thought, it may not go away if you accept it and don't react to it. So in many respects, we're talking opposites here - because we don't like a thought/feeling - our panic response is aimed at getting rid of it, but we actually end up 'holding on' to it instead. Part of this 'reaction' process is, indeed, the inability to let thoughts go.

Why do I have more control over my life now?

Well, here is the confusing part! We, funnily enough, get all the control we ever want 'without having to consciously think about it'. In other words, I do not need to take a second look, no matter how enticing, as I'm now confident enough to accept my initial thoughts and also let them go (this is also referred to as accepting your 'natural controls' in the journal).

Don't be lured into this secondary process and you will, surprisingly, get all the control you ever wanted.

As you will see in the 'Journal', my guest Hypnotherapist refers to this problem as a 'fear of fear', very much like my description on the 'Theory' page as panic being a process of 'thinking about thinking'.

What is important here is, as I said earlier, the 'order' in which we we deal with this problem - it's so vitally important. Take the 'Tickbox Test' in my journal to see if you really understand the 'Crux of Recovery'. You will see that we ignore our natural, spontaneous controls in search of complete control, which then becomes a secondary, destructive process. Indeed, there can be much confusion here, as you will see, I actually found myself 'fighting to relax'.

Is this not why there are so many sufferers 'trapped' in a never-ending whirr of hopelessness?

Once you understand the results to the test, you should understand how we can operate naturally/automatically without having to panic.

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