Panic - a case of opposites

- not necessarily in date order!

'If we hold on to 'a' moment, we don't keep up with 'the' moment'

**Some of the recent emails below have been selected for the Rule of 10 and form part of longer Advice Column sessions.

29/8/11
Hi Will Many thanks for all your help along the way with this - I really do feel as if I have a grip on this now and like you say, have had to learn patience in my journey! If there's one thing it's taught me, it's that we do run the fine line and should just understand that we have a natural ability to get through this. This is what I was tampering with!! I can sense so many situations where I had completely flunked in the past and now, I get through these without major upheaval - my relationship is back on tracks and I completely see where I was unwittingly throwing myself out of sync with my partner and unable to play my true part in this relationship - not surpising when I wasn't really there? Thanks again and yes, I will comeback to you whenever and thnks for the offer. Yours D

12/7/11

Hi Will, Thanks for the updated version. Based on your wonderful work, I created my own summary – a personal crib sheet for when I feel myself almost on auto-pilot ploughing into panic mode. My crib sheet started as an email I was writing to a close friend about how, with the help of the knowledge from your book, I was going about my anxieties. I never sent the e-mail and instead kept it as an aide memoir for myself. Or, alternatively, an ‘In Case of Emergencies’ read – when my mind is whirring too much to consume your book sensibly. When I get in that particular zone, lots of useful information isn’t always a good thing for a racing brain J Anyway, I thought I would send in case 1) you thought there were any glaring misunderstandings or 2) which I hope is more accurate, you think it might help others who need an ‘emergency cord’ at times. (now on Rule of 10 actually) thanks Claire.

Most of it is para-phrasing from your book and I have stuck with a use of emphasis as I think it really helps.

Or alternatively, please feel free to delete J Please keep up with the outstanding work. You are a person who really makes a difference in people’s lives. Fond wishes,

Claire

28/6/11 Thank you so much, Will. You have no idea how grateful I am to have found your site and book and to be getting all of this help, information and advice from you. I just got so emotional reading this response. I have struggled for many years and have tried different counselors/medication, etc, in my desperate times but never felt like I was really getting the right help. Everything always felt like a crutch and the advice I got from counselors just never seemed to click with me and I just never felt like they really understood what I was going thru, but of course I didn't know or understand either so I just always felt deep down like I was stuck like this and that I would never get the right help and just got more and more confused and upset.

What you say really makes sense to me and really feels like the right way through this - it's the first and only thing that has given me 100% confidence that I can cope and get through all of this. Instead of medication, coping behaviors, etc to "cope", it's really just 'me' that I need! What a relief!!! Even though I'm still having a rough time, and know that I will probably have many more rough times, I feel so much hope and have so much faith that things will work out and that I will eventually completely understand all of this and will "recover". I just can't thank you enough for that! This reply especially just made me feel so much better and gave me so much relief and hope.

Anyway, I won't keep you any longer this email :) and no need to reply to this one - I just wanted to thank you for your time and help. You are doing such a great thing and I wish the best for you and your family! I'm heading out of town tomorrow so if I don't get you that first email today I will make a note to send it to you when I get back.
Have a great week!
Sara (part of Rule of 10 Advice Column sessions)

5/7/11 Hey Will,

I hope you are keeping well. I am doing pretty good myself. I am so very greatful to your works, as during a period of time in my life a few years ago where i feel i was understanding the 'blue print' for the way thought, stress, and anxiety works, it really helped me understand things, and understand myself. It as though i found the manual for my brain. I have had to deal with some real real stresses in my life in the last few years, but your works, and Claire Weekes books have helped me 'stay in the moment', and deal with it basically 'the best way i can' , and not force anything. If i needed help, then i asked for it etc etc. Anyway, i am of course still very intersted in Psychology, Emotional Intelligence etc, ...........(see also Rule of 10) Warm Regards

James

On Wed 22/06/11 5:58 AM , D.... @hotmail.com sent: (see also Rule of 10 A.Col)

Hi Will,

I started reading your book about a week ago and just finished it. It really made a lot of sense to me and gave me a lot of hope. I really feel like it can help me in so many different areas in my life. Thank you so much for the help that you are giving me and so many others! I actually started going to a counselor about a month and a half ago but I stopped going last week because I didn't feel like it was helping and after starting your book, I just felt like the information you have put out there is the right way to go and not at all what the counselor was telling me. It really is a shame that the medical and psych fields, etc, don't have more of an understanding of this condition! Anyway, I just really wanted to thank you and wanted .... I really appreciate the support and help you provide....Well, I guess that's all for now. I'll try not to bother you too much. :)
Thanks again, D

Date: Tue, 17 May 2011 18:51:30 +0000 Hi Will How are you? You probably don't remember me - I emailed you probably about 3 or 4 years ago now when I was experiencing some panic and intrusive thoughts and in complete dispair with it all! Well anyway, thanks to your help and working hard with applying the 'not do's' (or not applying anything as the case may be!), I found a place where I was back to me and living in the moment. In fact, I would say I was really content and happy, there would be the odd thought or moment or panic but it would go as quickly as it came. It had been like that for the last few years and I was convinced I had cracked this thing! I hope I said it at the time but thank you so much as it really enabled me to recover! Anyway, a few weeks ago, the best thing ever happened and my boyfriend of 6 years proposed. I.... (see A.Column Rule of 10 with S)

29/6/11 Hi Will, Just ordered your e-book and making sure that the order came through paypal ok. Really looking forward to reading it all – the preview just makes so much sense to me and joins the dots between why I couldn’t understand why such positive intentions as ‘accept & relax’ were actually feeding the panic / anxiety. Now I get that I was too busy forcing it all. The first day of treating my panic as a flag-for-my-benefit rather than a horror-thought-to-run-away from has proved very enlightening – if a little un-real. Also noticed some rather sensible, rational and subsequently productive ideas of things to do that popped out of nowhere following a ‘not doing’ response to an automatic panic. All as a result of ‘not doing’. Quite shell shocking in a way. Anyway its early days, and my panic response has been for so many years that I anticipate an interesting journey. That said, you have offered me the light of hope when I had really started to think my life would always be this way. All the best, Claire

On Fri 15/04/11 12:20 PM Nadine sent:

Hi Will, this is more of a progress update really. I have re-read the journals and am happy that I grasp the concept fully now. This is what I understand, I get lots and lots of thoughts - some good, some bad, some paranoid etc. What I have been doing in the past is having these thoughts and then thinking - no, I should not be thinking that, or having a paranoid thought and then trying to explain it or remedy it - this is my after panicking. In doing this - I am etching it in my brain (making the problem bigger than it actually is/was). What I should be doing and am at the min is letting that thought pass through with out paying it so much attention, this then leaves a lesser impression in my memory. I think I know now why I keep on having reoccurring memories of bad things in my past - this is because I have analized them and made them a whole lot bigger than they ever needed to be (so they are still there as fresh as the day that it may have happened) - after all panic is an exaggerated reaction to a feeling or thought. So, as I keep using your method and letting these past negative thoughts flow through I will also gain positive thought - as I'm now in flow and because I'm not stuck I can do this.

I know that there will be very testing times ahead when I will naturally after panic but I also have days now where I am completely my self. And I see what you mean about learning about your self - because I'm letting me be me!!! So what if I'm shy or I feel nervous, so what if I'm loud and talk a lot - this is my new attitude, because I am realising that I am the best I can be regardless of mistakes and imperfections. Phew!

We can break things down and drive our selves around the bend. and this is what panic sufferers do, this is what I do. It just leads to total destruction. Trying to curb and change my thoughts changed me as a person - It took away my personality, confidence and sense of self. Moving in flow will bring the old me back as the old memories and situations where I panic wont lead me to overanalize and after panic.

Thanks Will, finding your work is finally making me move on. I'm glad I've finally got it, the penny has dropped! Like I said, I know it aint gonna be a bed of roses but on days like today - when I feel NORMAL it makes it all worth while. Thankyou very much for your work, it's been a long time coming!

Kindest Regards Nad

On Wed 23/03/11 1:22 PM, Toby sent:

Thanks for that Will.

I won't bore you with my story, but I've been reading your website with great interest over the past few days. What was especially interesting is comparing your approach to the CBT to - which I was referred and which was pretty much next to useless. It's all very well someone telling you to "step outside your feelings, become mindful and just observe your thoughts" etc. The more I think about it, the more it seems that they're actually telling you to focus on the very thing you don't want to be focusing on, rather than letting your brain just naturally deal with it. Whilst I don't discount CBT in any way, for me it was no help.

I've had far more success from reading books and then stumbling across your site, which is by far the most common-sense-talking, down-to-earth and credible source of information and help that I've found.

Really looking forward to reading this....will email you some feedback when done.

All the best, Toby......

----- Original Message -----
From: root@doyoupanic.co.uk
To: Toby Sent: Thu 24/03/11 12:48 PM
Subject: Fwd: RE: THE MIND WORKS

Hi Toby - many thanks for your observations and feel free to contact me whenever - the main thing here is 'not doing', as our panic problem is us so clearly 'overdoing' and looking back' into thoughts that are actually very normal and acceptable - no matter how weird/bad. Just like you say - it's our/even therapists perennial temptation to tell us to 'do' something to recover - but that IS our problem!... Even with this, in the past I have fallen for that 'increased self-pressure' to 'do' something about my thinking, which is what panic is -and would end up trying to force myself to recover. Regards Will

....Hi Will, I've realised even before I got your book that I've been worrying about things which have not happened and probably won't....the old "FEAR" syndrome (False Expectations Appearing Real). I just know how horrible a panic attack is and how it just seems to hit me from out of nowhere. I'm very lucky though in that my partner also used to suffer from them and so she's amazing about it all and a real support.

So I've started reading your book and am loving it. It's already got me thinking about things in a totally different way and a way that makes a lot more sense to my own intuitive thoughts about my "condition" which seemed to clash with what the "experts" say. I'm already decided that if I start to feel sketchy on the plane (it'll be right at the beginning just after they close the cabin doors) then I'm going to just NOT dwell on it, not bother trying to do all that happy-clappy "observe my thoughts" that the CBT person recommended and just chill...So with that in-mind, and assuming that you're still reading this ;) , is there anything you'd say on this? Any "tips" you can give me for dealing with panic attacks (rather than ongoing panic) quickly and effectively? Am I right to think that I can just use the COPAST and MORD diagrams as a way of dealing with individual panic attacks? I don't know if I'll have time to read the whole book before I leave (although I'll try).

All the best, Toby........Hi Will. Wow, thanks so much for that. I can't tell you how much help its been to read your last two mails. I fly tomorrow afternoon and am feeling so positive about things. I can already feel the change in the way i'm approaching any panicky thoughts and it's so much easier to just let my mind do what it wants without me trying to exert conscious control over it. So, bags are packed and i'm ready to go - and very excited. Thanks a million and i'll drop you a line when i'm back to let you know how it went. All the best Toby

On Thu 24/02/11 11:24 AM , @aol.com sent:

G*d, this illness is horrible, I've had 3 whole days of pretty fluid thinking! Amazing!!! Then today bang, back to square one, it's wreaking havoc again!Cant switch the bad thoughts off. Trapped in knots again. I think it's made worse by the fact that I've had a few good days. It had me fooled into thinking I had it sussed. I guess this is the time I need to persevere! One think I did notice though Will, was the amount of primary negative thoughts I had and the inability to accept the positive thoughts as truthful, I'm guessing that correcting this will be down to habit. I'm almost through the journal now and cant believe how lucky people are that you have spent the time and effort putting your work together. I cant thank you enough Sorry one more question! Do you get people complaining that their life seems on hold because of this illness? It really frustrates me that when I'm down I cant do much. Thanks again will, and I'm sorry I'm writing to you to moan again!!! J

And after my response, (ref also The Rule of 10 - 'True faith is easier than self-doubt')......On Fri 25/02/11 2:21 PM , @aol.com sent: Thanks Will, and thank you for getting back to me. I cant thank you enough for all of the hard work you do. And you are right that on the good days when I'm not going into secondary thoughts so much I can actually see the way that I think, I now realise that from the few days 'off' secondary thinking how fast my mind seems to flow and how many thoughts come and go all the time.(its a case of not latching on to them) I guess I'm one of those people that will think a lot of the time. And I know that if I resist the temptation to analyze the thoughts and situations I'm in I can put the thinking to good use!! I now know that this thinking did come from resisting the way I naturally think and that I have to accept that as me! Lol. It turns out that I was tired yesterday and I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow last night.I'm sure I'll be back to ask a few more questions along the way, but just understanding the way this whole process works has helped me tremendously and I'm starting to see the wood from the trees.In the few days I've been able to put off secondary thinking, the phrase I've used the most is' life is too short'! This phrase has really helped my gain perspective.

Thanks again and I'm sorry to ramble on. J

On Thu 17/02/11 6:01 PM Rachel.. sent: Hi Will, I'm half way through the journals, they are fascinating. I'm really sorry if you have covered this a little later on in your work, I'm just impatient! Lol! It's just I have a question about the type of thoughts I have, they are mainly about my relationships with other people, I'll be talking to some one and I'll think that they dont like me, I'll then go off into secondary thinking all day about what they said, what I said, how they said it etc (almost looking for clues). This can be any one, from the post man to a good friend (to even some one serving me in a shop!). Take today now for example, I'm studying a course and I was talking to some one and I jokingly shouted at them and told them off, later on they made a sarcastic/hurt reply( I think). I thought I'd upset this person, so now they dont like me, okay, so then I try and strike up conversation with this person to 'prove' that my thoughts are not true and that they will give me a clue that they do still like me! What strikes me as odd is that I dont even know this person well. I this do all the time! Do other anxiety sufferers have these types of thoughts? I'm understanding your methods and I know that sticking to your method will bring me through, I also know that deep down this secondary thinking is a deep rooted lack of confidence. I'm just worried that my thoughts are very strange! I've suffered with this all of my adult life (I'm 26) so I dont know what it's like to be a 'normal' adult! Sorry one more question! I think you say that I should go with my gut feeling on things, if so does that mean everyone hates me? Sorry, I feel pretty dumb writing that!Also, a lot of my secondary thought are about things that happened years ago, it's like I cant put them to bed!! Is that just habit?? Sorry, all of these questions! Thanks for your time Will. Kind Regards Rach

Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2011 17:23:24 +0000
Subject: Re: FW: The Mind Works Final Version
From: ....@gmail.com
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk

Thanks Will , I am half way through and I am very glad to see a different way of thinking to combat (or not combat in this case ) what has been a real problem for me on and off for all my life. I have used this method myself before , but only without realising it . I have been travel phobic in the main mixed with a large dollop of health aniexty (heart specific but could be anything eg cancer , going mental at certain times , after being ill or under pressure in work) . I first came across this method when I had to fly to see familly in dubai and gran canaria . My first trip to dubai was horrendous , I was sat in the plane with my wife and child , twitching , fidgeting feeling dizzy , sick wanting to run . But once the plane had taken off and I had to accept the fact that I was going I became totally calm and almost enjoyed the flight . Although sometimes during the holiday I experienced the familiar vibration of panic building I mostly avoided it , a couple of times I slipped and and all the usual debating went on in my head . Am I dying , or going mad , going to faint etc etc . Anyway , this new years eve I started to come down with a cold but still partied as we had guests for the evening and eventually got to bed about 2.30 am feeling rough . During the night I couldnt sleep and stared to feel hungover as well a full of cold , my mind started to build catostophic scenarios around having swine flu and dieing from pneumonia which got worse untill after 2 days of not really sleeping and being on my own in the house , full blown and uncontrollable panic set in . It is lifting now , I havent backed away from it and gone to work even though it gives me total full blown panic . But it is getting easier , and with the info in your book I will finally get over this illness . Thanks ....

From: @hotmail.com
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: E-book and question
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2011 10:20:37 +0000

Many thanks again Will, I've read through the 'Rule'. I think it's fantastic, that you write so honestly from first hand experience. I find it much more accessible than many self-help books I've read in the past and believe it's achievable. I understand the difference of not doing anything, it feels like I should just watch my thoughts float past, like a slide show and not linger on any or pull them apart and worry about them.

I'm interested in any seminars / conferences as well as trying the one-to-one sessions. I haven't requested a form yet as I wanted to ask if it would be possible to do the session by phone during the day, but as I only have a mobile for me to ring you?

Many thanks .... Hi ..... and many thanks for your review. Glad you understand the difference as this is the 'trap' even I have fallen victim to in the past. I could call you on your mob if you wanted me to. I just dont like the 'extended' use of them if you know what I mean. No obligation anyway - as this is just something that is now available for the people that have asked for it. Please remember though, email advice is as always free. cheers Will

14 Jan '11 Dear Will Thank you very much for the E-Book I ordered a while ago. The approach really resonates with me and although I'm struggling, it has given me hope.

I want to ask if there is any one-to-one couselling for this approach available that you know of? Either through you of others. As I feel it would be beneficial to help me grasp the ideas and apply them to me....A lot of my panic / anxiety comes from my procrastination and not doing things. For example, I am constantly 'trying' to stick to a diet and I keep putting off undertaking my MA dissertation. I can get to the point where I am stuck with these things and exhausted by them i.e. I obsess about them, but do nothing. I think you are suggesting that the sub-conscious will take care of these issues if I just trust? Does this mean I don't need to set goals or motivate myself to do things to make me change and achieve things? If the sub-conscious is going to motivate me to do what is right for me, can I give it a push in the right direction e.g. writing down goals and then not consciously forcing myself to start (e.g. when I usually think about researching my MA, if gives me anxiety which intensifies when I push myself to start and I end up just stopping from pain/exhaustion and panic) but I can just wait for me to do it without forcing?

Have I got it right, that I can rely on my sub-conscious for everything and my conscious forced thoughts don't help me at all?

Many thanks for this, your book feels like my saviour! I think it is wonderful that you help people who are going through similar experiences to yourself in the past and are happy to pass on your experience and support.Kind regards Ness

On Wed 29/12/10 6:06 PM , "Matt " sent:
Hi Will, No problem – great book btw, I’ve skim read it once but it certainly resonates with me. Without doubt I am someone that analyses everything to the nth degree which whilst useful in my job and for passing exams I think has had this negative effect on me with respect to anxiety.

I wouldn’t say I suffered with panic attacks per se, but certainly experience anxiety on a day to day basis and have become extremely self-conscious of my verbal interaction with others – i.e. how I sound, what words I use etc etc and have really lost that spontaneity that most people do sub-consciously. Because of this I think I have developed secondary symptoms/coping mechanisms – blushing/trembling/shortness of breath etc.

I’m looking forward to trying out a new approach to all of this. I assume that whilst my scenario may seem the end of the world to me and not exactly panic attacks it is just another common set of symptoms that you have come across before ?

Thanks

Hi Matt, yes it will seem the end of the world as its a very frightening place to be in. Whether it's panic attacks or 'prolonged' anxiety - I describe it this way for those fighters/analysers - it must be understood that we 'engage' in an unnecessary restrospecting processs - we lose our spontaneity as you say.

This is what I refer to as our panic pause - and we 'keep' on doing this as part of our retrospecting. Again, the one process that comes out of this is that this is unnecessary and forced and, hence, even if we're tempted - we just dont need to continue along that line once aware. Take your time with this and feel free to come back whenever, I suppose the best thing in terms of helping people is that I 'truly' know what it feels like to be so desperate, lost and permanently confused - and as such, also know exactly what process we all engage in which 'can' be remedied. cheers Will

4th Sept '10 - Hi Will Just an update on my progress and after 6 months now I really am starting to notice an improvement in my habits. Went shopping yesterday and frankly, anything 'outside' in the past has been a near impossibility - and the depression I felt was almost unbearable, but this just shows me how far I have come. Like you book comments pages please shout this loud as you help freely like so many other sites and all of you deserve a medal1 It always interested me how you said these all come from the same family. I never really believed that to be honest as my fears took me beyond rational thought. However, I know certain phrases may stick when you read them I would just like to take the opportununity to sincerely thankyou. I noticed amongst my mayhem that I was ''tension pausing'' everytime I panicked and ok, this was almost constant, so a leap of faith was required as they call it! One thing that made such a difference and it hit me that I was indeed doing this ALL the time. Just your explanation of how I could work my way out of this pausing habit without further panic has left me able to go out into the big wide world without medication or anyone holding my hand! Sincere best wishes. Carrie

10th October - thanks for this Will. Been studying this subject for some time now as part of my research thesis and glad to see you've had so much success in a field where so many therapies are struggling to make an impact. Will get back to you after my read! Many thanks Jake L...25th Nov Will just a quick thankyou for this. Understanding it more now. Amazing that this hasnt been covered to date and truly inspiring how youve been able to put into words what so many sufferers struggle to fathom. Your pieces with Nick/Anna shows how serious this can get and yet, success is only round the corner... ..., let you know when it's done. J

Date: Fri, 17 Sept 2010 13:26:54 Will, Just an update on my progress so far. Your recovery is truly an inspiration! The one thing that lifts me everytime is I know you've been there and that understanding has given me the belief to persevere when my tension urge has been so bloody strong! Just on the subject of Rule of 10 I think I'm pretty near that end part of the flow line now where you say we're working closer towards a fuller focus/holding of our concentration. I stuck with this because I knew all else had failed and now feel this has been a skill which I have honed so well. So right when you say habits take time though, but thanks all the same as I know taking my foot ‘off’ the pedal is the true meaning of relaxing. Cheers Jez

8th August '10 - Great book will and just the tonic I needed. Simply going nowhere with all of this and so frustrated with countless sites but no real solution. What I have realised is that we all tip the scales at some point in our lives and my recent experiences have really just been like anyone elses (thankyou for that!). I also know that my mind simply went into overdrive and instead of letting it all sort itself out as you say, I didnt trust that I would keep that balance throughout my stresses and especially that section on holding your nerve really struck a chord with me. Really understand it now and thanks to you and Paul's site, I know that we do have the ability to survive those bad times. Stay in the moment and the answers to those stresses/dilemmas will come to you! Thanks again Will. Amy.

18 July '10. Hi Will, I wrote to you once months ago and then again the other day about anxiety and exercise (I'm not sure I sent it to the right address though). Anyway, there is no need to respond to my exercise email/question, as I've sorted it out (exercise is no longer provoking my anxiety as badly; I guess it was just because I wasn't used to it at first). However, I would like to thank you for the insight I've gained from your book. I read it a few months ago and it helped briefly, but I wasn't really getting it as in fully applying it consciously. So I reread the "Rule of 10" recently and this time it not only made sense again, but I now find myself able to calm my mind down with much greater ease. Like, I can really do this! (Or "not do" it, but you know what I mean). It is such a relief to know how to let stuff go and resume the normal flow of thoughts, and the road to full recovery has become so much clearer as a result of it. I do find that having met a girl recently, that relationship issues really trigger the anxious/worrying/obsessive thinking, but I'm seeing this now as an opportunity rather than a reason to stay stuck in the same problem. So again, thanks for writing the book and explaining the process. It's been invaluable! Sincerely, Mike

On Fri 14/05/10 3:09 AM , ...sent:

Hi will i have been suffering from anxiety/depression on and off for about 6 years. i downloaded your ebook a while ago and am just now getting into it again. i had a baby 18 mths ago and miraculously my anxiety/depression left me for about a year. i was shocked because i thought it would totally throw me off. that was an amazing year. i was/am so happy to be a mother and have bonded with my son amazingly well. in the last few months, the anxiety has reared its ugly head. actually, seemingly worse now than ever. and i have a few questions for you. your site is one of the ones i truly think can help me.....post reply...HI Will, Thank you SO much for your response. What you say totally make sense, it's just implementation I need to work on. So you think my symptoms sound like anxiety/depression? I just analyze each feeling/thought/symptom/mood change and drive myself crazy thinking it must be bipolar because there is no other explanation for my thinking.The 2 voices thing totally rings a bell with me.Thanks again, 17 May..

...Of all the stuff I've researched through the years....(and it's an embarrassing amount of stuff!)...all of the books, blogs, homeopathic pills, vitamins, fish oils, therapists, exercises etc, your system is really the ONLY thing that makes sense. I know that it represents the light for me, even though I STILL can't figure it out and I am STILL in the thick of it. In my heart of hearts, I know it's there but just something I really need to work at. It would be so great to have a real support group for figuring this out.

Right now I am struggling again with the bipolar obsession, but really it's the obsession or fear of suffering endlessly with no remedy-- that really is the crux of my obsessive mind. Sometimes I get so worked up and agitated I feel that I must be just damaged beyond all repair....but I am vowing to stick with this. It's funny, there is a girl in your journals named "......." and her story is the most relatable to me- ironic!Thanks again for your support.....

On Thu 22/04/10 4:52 PM , Thanks Will. I will say that lately things have been getting better for me (in the last few weeks), I just had a down day that I hadn't had in a while - and anxiety tricks you into thinking that it is "back" or you are back to square one. But, the next day I just went on with my day and did not focus on the anxiety. I notice that when I make it a point to not focus on it, my days go much better. As a matter of fact, for the most part, it's like my mind is starting to notice when I have an "anxious" thought and its like it is starting to automatically calm it down.

Will that just get easier? In other words, will I start to have more primary thought times when my mind is starting to return to "normal?" Is that they way to recovery? Is that how you know you are getting somewhere? I definitely sometimes still feel the anxiety or the anxious thoughts, but not to the point of panic as much. Its almost like my mind is saying "oh no, don't go down that route, make a u-turn." Sometimes its not that easy, but I feel like it is getting easier to notice when I should lower the anxiety. Thanks so much for always responding!

By the way, some days are going to be harder than others right? It's not all an easy road. I will have days where my anxiety is higher than others, but in the end those days will slowly subside over the course of several months or so if I still with this new calming attitude, right? But, in the end, my body and mind will eventually neutralize and I won't even feel the anxiety with thoughts at some point, right? I guess I just want to be sure that, even though I feel better with progress, I will eventually be "recovered." As I am DEFINITELY not thinking about recovery because I know that can cause anxiety alone. Thanks again......On Sat 24/04/10 9:17 PM , ... sent:
Thank you so much, Will. I feel very good about my road that I am on right now. Having someone who has been through this to talk to really reasured me. I appreciate all you for guidance and encouragement!Thanks!

No problem ..., glad to help! cheers Will

5/5/10 Hi Will, Thanks a lot. I also just did the payment for the paperback version to support your work and to be able to read it on the go as well. I think it's great that you do this. I'm also a fan of Paul David's work.

Will be in touch, thanks and cheers from the Netherlands. S

To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: The Mind Works Final Version
Date: Fri, 16 Apr 2010 13:21:34 +0100

Hi will Thanks for the email. I read the rule of 10's and I think I'm understanding things a bit better. My confusion is with 'what to let myself think'. What is natural for me is to let myself flow with my overactive mind... I get lots of positive and negative thoughts, and if I go with them, I find that I eventually fall asleep (sometimes). For me not fighting is letting myself be sensitive, worried, angry etc without telling myself that I shouldn't be this way. It's also letting myself be a thinker (if I try to not flow with some thoughts, this seems to make me feel worse!). The only reason I ever started interfering with my thoughts in the first place was to avoid the pain from some thoughts/feelings... Am I right in saying that the best thing to do is go with them, and let them sort themselves out without my interference? Because this seems the only way that I am not 'fighting' and I suppose this comes with accepting that Its better to accept that we can't feel great all the time?? So in other words, let my pain sort itself out, without me playing around with it? (my only concern would be that the pain will stay!)

Look fwd to your feedback, it is much appreciated!

08/04/10 Hi Will, Many thanks for sending this to me. I am currently getting through your book and am finding it really good. I have also read Paul David's book and so far am finding that "The Mind Works" kind of explains the actual "accepting" and "not doing anything" principals in a way that helps you to understand it more from a brain process way, which is good. It seems strange sometimes that what seems to be such an easy process is so hard to actually get the hang of.

I have had Anxiety notably from the age of 17 (Starting with a Panic attack which threw me into a pit of despair) and I am now 38. Following coming on and off Paroxetine (Seroxat) many times over the years, and I can't deny that when on it, it did help. I have now come off at 1mg per month for 20 months and finally stopped on 1st November 2009. 4 Months on and I am really struggling (Very Anxious and Depressed). We have had some hard times thrown at us lately and I am finding it difficult to make even simple decisions. My GP has prescribed a different SSRI, Sertraline if I want it. The thing is I really don't want to start taking any more medication. I believe I have made more progress over the last year or so than ever with Acceptance techniques like in "The Mind Works", "At Last a Life" and Clare Weeks books, but sometimes I feel so low I just seem to be looking at the pages and nothing seems to be going in.

One of the hardest things I think I have trouble getting my head around is that some people, my GP included (and he is a great GP and accepts that things can be done without medication) say that where some people need insulin for diabetes, some anxious or depressed people need the right amount of serotonin for the brain, and I'm never sure how to take that. Does this mean that for some of us the only way is to take pills? Or can everyone get through this without medication, and that may well be because these methods as well as programming our brain processes to work properly are in fact also allowing serotonin to be created to the levels that are in fact required for a happy and stress free life.I appologise if I have rambled on and realise that you may not be able to respond to everybody's e-mails but I am seriously thinking of getting back on medication (and I truly don't want to) and at the same time feel I have made a lot of progress but that it is stored in my mind and is difficult to pull into focus at this time.

I think that last paragraph means that perhaps I am closer to recovery than I think and I believe even now that if I could just prove that I can do and think what I can do and think when I'm on medication and even improve beyond this, then it must be worth continuing without it. But sometimes, Wow it's hard. Very Best Regards, (advised
on the right trail - just that self confidence to continue!)

7/04/10 Hi Will, Have read your book and it makes so much sense to me. I have felt significantly better since reading it a couple weeks ago. I feel more normal at times than I have in a long time, though nowhere near complete "normality". And actually, it's weird, because in some ways while its obvious I'm getting better, at other times when I am struggling I kind of feel like my anxiety is worse (and the attendant depression and feelings of meaninglessness). Maybe the bad spells feel worse because I am generally feeling better, if that makes any sense. But at any rate, I do feel like I have begun to make real progress.One of the ways in which I tense up is not only through anxious thoughts, but ANY kind of reactive thought. Like if someone says or I read something I disagree with, I react very strongly internally, even if I don't show or express it outwardly. And then I get carried away with my thinking about it. Its like I start having mental conversations with myself, my mind always going blah blah blah. Sometimes its even thoughts about pleasant things or things I enjoy thinking about, but its compulsive and involves mental "tensing". And I realize that the anxiety is at the root of it, because even when the thoughts are not panic thoughts, there is a compulsive intensity to my thinking most of the time (sometimes I think the compulsive thinking is fighting the thoughts and other times it's a distraction/fleeing). So I guess my question is, I should deal with this reactive/excessive/compulsive thinking (even when its not necessarily or obviously anxious thinking) in the same way - i.e. calm/detense at the moment I start getting carried away with the thoughts? I hope that makes sense. Thanks, (also advised - on the right lines - just that last hurdle of self belief to persevere with calming 'each and every time'!)

19/01/10 Hello Will, A sincere thankyou, you are a saint! What you've put out on your website has helped me no end and am glad to see that I am not alone in having this affliction.

Recently I've been struggling with some self doubt. I've always had OCD of soughts and
my mind tends to think a little too much. However, I'd never fell into the anxiety trap
before. This all came to a head on new years day when a rogue thought about my
relationship to my girlfriend caused me to spiral into massive anxiety. These lead onto
further negative thoughts (do I love her, what happens if we split up, am I making the
right choice, am I loosing it) which kept building and building despite the fact that
she is my world and I love her and am planning to propose.

These thoughts terrified me (and still do) and I was desperate to try to push them out
of my head but it only seemed to make it worse. I couldn't sleep, I was in tears a few
occasions and I quickly became a real mess. I stumbled across your site one night that
I couldn't sleep and studied a few of the techniques, over the next day or so, I tried
to put into practice what you talked about and finally bought your book. All I can say
is this instantly helped relieve me of a lot of anxiety.

I have nearly finished reading your book and am slowly beginning to recongising the
questioning process and am learning to let go of my thoughts instead of clinging to
them, endlessly trying to justify them and failing. It's tough at times as I can feel
them worming around in my head, always cropping up and causing a moments panic and worry
(I've even had thoughts of "is this the right technique", "what if something IS wrong?"
but these don't faze me now). I need to continue to build up my self confidence to not
let these erroneous thoughts worry or frighten me.

Apologies for the long e-mail, but after the help your book brought me, I needed to say
thanks!

P.S. feel free to use this e-mail, but keep my name and e-mail anonymous!

On Thu 31/12/09 4:36 PM , Jane sent: Hi Will, Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. Just wanted to let you know I'm doing really well. The holidays have gone so much better than I 'expected'. I'm slowly learning to 'let anxiety go' and move on. It still feels odd, but I'm doing it. Anyway, thank you so much for all your help. I'll definitely be in touch and let you know how I'm getting along. Have a Happy New Year Jane

From: Kamini
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Hello Will
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2009 13:59:39 +0400
Hello Will, How are you doing? Hope you still remember me (contacted you April ?). Just to let you know I am doing very well, almost 80% recovered. Thanks for your help and your book and site. I delivered my baby well and she is almost 3 months old. She is doing well.
Thanks a lot to you dear. You were very kind and helpful to me everytime i asked you for help. I will always be indebted to you. If you need me, do not hesitate to contact me. Many thanks & good luck Cheers Kamini

On Wed 2/12/09 6:15 PM , ...sent: Hi will I am border line suicidal with panic, I'm just now finding your site, something coincidental happened I sat down at my desk and said dammit I'm back in my anxiety I sat back at the desk I'm always anxious on and my thoughts just went back I looked up and read the phrase Tension pause. I'm going to read through your website. I'm a chronic sufferer it's all heart based with catastrophic thinking thrown into the fray I have only one good leg cause of a minor tear in my calf that can't seem to be fixed and i'm only 23. Been anxious for 3 year now. Looking forward to your work.

Don't know why I just gave you my history there force of habit or the fact that I love to complain :-) Take Care

From:
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: E-book and question
Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2009 14:26:25 +0000

Many thanks Will. I have found the "Rule of 10" has really helped me understand and made things even clearer. However, I will take you up on your kind offer of e-mail support to clarify I am on the right lines and ask a few questions. I have spent a lot of time practising 'control' therapies as you describe them and thinking I shouldn't have any negative thoughts / feelings, which I now realise is not the answer....Many thanks for this, your book feels like my saviour! I think it is wonderful that you help people who are going through similar experiences to yourself in the past and are happy to pass on your experience and support. Kind regards Rebecca

From:
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk; will@doyoupanic.co.uk
Subject: E-book and question
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2009 11:47:14 +0000

Dear Will Thank you very much for the E-Book I ordered a while ago. The approach really resonates with me and although I'm struggling, it has given me hope.
I want to ask if there is any one-to-one couselling for this approach available that you know of? Either through you of others. As I feel it would be beneficial to help me grasp the ideas and apply them to me. Kind regards N
(Will) Advised re free email help/sent final updated Rule of 10/latest Advice Column - maybe when I have more time I'll think of 1:1!

On Fri 30/10/09 5:56 PM , Jade sent: Hi Will, I bought your book just the other day. I've been suffering with anxiety for about 7 months (it was around March of this year when I suffered my 'breakdown'). I've read Paul David's book and have been visiting his blog for the past several months. It's really helped a ton and I feel like I'm slowly gaining an understanding. I feel like I'm at the stage now where everything you talk about in your book is finally starting to make sense to me. Previously, I absolutely believed every thought and no one could tell me what I was thinking was just anxiety based. This whole episode started when one night I had what I believe was a mild panic attack..... My head felt heavy and my thinking was fuzzy. I felt like I was in a dream and was absolutely terrified. I just felt like something was terribly wrong. I woke up the next morning and couldnt shake the thought/feeling that something was wrong.....that there was something I needed to worry about or feel scared about. So....that started this whole anxiety thing for me. Looking back, I realize that I had suffered anxiety episodes throughout my life.....never to this extent that I worried about them so deeply. The thing I struggle with the most is my thoughts (I'm sure I'm not alone with this one!). My most worrysome thought has been that now that I've suffered this anxiety episode I'm supposed to feel like this.....that I'm not supposed to be getting better. The minute I would start to feel better, I would automatically think.....'wait...you can't feel better....you have anxiety'. And I would instantly become scared to death and feel totally depressed. I've been dismissing this thought the best I can and I really has become so much less scary.....it comes a lot less often too. But throughout this episode, I got into the habit of not doing things because I think I shouldn't or can't because I have anxiety. It could be something as simple as cooking dinner or watching TV. Now, however, I really have been trying my best to do all things regardless of whether I think I should or not and it's been getting easier. I just really want to get to the point where I'm free of all this (I know this isn't exaclty an accepting statement!). I want to be able to get excited about going out to dinner or watching a movie.....but I just feel like I can't because I have anxiety. Will there be a time when I can just do all things and not think about my anxiety automatically?? Another thing, when I think back at how bad I got, I get kind of scared. Is this all normal?? Thanks so much for your help. Jade

Jade Advised and sent final update of 'Rule of 10'

On Sun 1/11/09 1:41 PM , Jade sent:Thanks so much for your reply, Will. Everything you say is starting to sink in......finally! It seems like one day things make perfect sense, then the next day I'm reacting way too much. I just get hung up with the idea that I suffered this breakdown in the first place.....it still scares me a little. I know memories take time to fade. One question I have though, when a memory comes up of when I was suffering really badly, should I just treat that like any other thought and not dwell on it and 'go back into it'? Many thanks, J (Will - advised ref Rule of 10 Advice Column)

From: dawn
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Mind Works
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 2009 14:25:04 +0000

Hi Will, Thanks for the book, really really good and can see what you mean I think! I have been reading it since the postman came this morning. I have been trying to put your method into place in terms of letting primary thoughts come to their own natural cut off. I think my question might be a bit odd - does doing this feel completely unnatural at first? I mean it really feels weird!
Dawn

Hi Dawn - maybe you got so used to over-controlling/reacting that this became the uncomfortable norm! Our bad habits certainly 'do' need re-dressing. Many thanks and feel free whenever. cheers Will

Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:12:29 -0500
Subject: Re: The Mind Works Final Version
From: Craig
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk

Hi Will, thanks for emailing me. You know just the past day in my frantic search for help I listened to this Zen master talk about meditation and enlightenment. All it did was confuse me and make my head spin more! But your more simplistic outlook gets the message across much better. I'm so glad ... Thanks a lot Will, have a good day.

Subject: RE:
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 2009 09:39:00 +0100
From: Katrina To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk

Hi Will Thank you so much for your advice. I just needed to be pushed in the right direction. I suppose I will find it difficult in the beginning as I have really built the thought up over a long time, so it can bring on my fear within seconds to point I believe I will do this ‘thing’. If the fear comes I have to accept it’s there and take it no further, not read into it, imagine it happening in different places etc. then eventually I will be able to see the thought more rationally? I need to live my life with it beside until it no longer matters. Thank you again Will…..I have just finished your book and am now going to re-read it much slower to make sure I understand everything. I feel so much more positive now and can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

From: Andrea
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Rule of 10/Mind Works Final Version
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 2009 22:24:15 +0100

Hi Will, thanks for that! Had a look and its really good. Been a while since i last contacted you... amazing what can happen in a few months. I'm definitely getting there now, understand it completely! Whenever my intense mind thinks i should react and analyse something.. i just recognise it gets me no where and the outcome of my original thought cant be changed by ruminating, but easily let go and not made a big deal of by letting my thinking flow without interfering. Its something thats taking practice to grasp, but im positive im deffo on the right track! would you say these days you dont take your thinking so seriously? I am finding now i can distance myself from the content of my thinking.. like i can now dismiss it and not read into it. I'm nearly at the stage now of dropping the reminder, i suppose once i do that i will lose the self focus that has kept the last 10% of this illness lingering. Weird isnt it when it suddenly clicks in your mind that you have been going to far, that none of it was neccesary to cope as coping happens in the primary, you cant force coping after the moment has already been and gone as you have already coped so you will never find the answer with any secondary thinking! Many thanks Andrea

Subject: RE: The Rule of 10
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 2009 11:12:04 +0100

Hi Will Thank you for that - a very succint reminder and very helpful. I did find your book very helpful - one of the main points that helped me was the bit where you said that it does not matter if the moment is not perfect, let the moment move on - I suppose it's a case of having the knowledge/confidence not to 'do' anything. I agree about temprements being a part of the problem, I am a sensitive person anyway but I am learnning to try not to 'worry' or try and solve worries that have not even happened yet. It's a complete rewrite of how we react - not easy but I am not panicking like I used to, some days are easier than others but I do feel I am well down the road to recovery. Paul's blog helps too as it reinforces other peoples recovery - I think the more people like yourself and Paul keep pushing forward that recovery is possible the more people will recover - confidence is a huge part of this and you have helped SO many people by giving them the confidence to believe they will recover. Thank you. Terese

Date: Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:46:51 -0700 From: ... Subject: Re: 'The Mind Works' Final Version To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Thanks Will! The last few days have been fine with no stuck thoughts. It is interesting that once I get a handle on things the anxiety completely disappears. I don't know if it's funny, sad, courageous or just plain stupid but I own a very stressful company with 94 employess and everyone (except my wife!) comments on how relaxed and in control I am. I guess this is just my cross to bear! I really do appreciate you getting back to me. It's nice to be able to vent to someone who really gets it. You should be very proud of your work! Regards John

No probs John - we're all human! Part of being successful is knowing and accepting who we are - warts an'all - keep in touch whenever - if only they knew hey?! Whilst we all like to be private - our illness can lead to too much privacy in that we keep things in and don't see rational sense.

07 December 2008 01:54:34 Hi Will,

Just going through your book now and so far its been fantastic. The way you identify the process in which the thoughts go is very good. I know you might not give put personal adivce but i'll ask my question anyway. My biggest fear with anxiety is depression and because i have felt depressed abit with my anxiety and it is always on my mind this is usually what my thoughts are about and what my 'What ifs' are about most of the time. So when i get that random thought "do i feel depressed" is that my primary thought and i should just cut-off from there? Because i ususally get myself in a panic and think what if this is me forever ect ect. Or if i hear the word depression or read it somewhere the dread washes over me and the thoughts begin to come. In saying this my anxiety started with physical symptoms which began with a panic attack and then developed into constant anxiety from waiting for the 'next' panic attack. I have feared going crazy, all other mental illnesses under the sun and i spose the depression fear is the one ive had the longest. I like how you mentioned people doubt the good positive thoughts and question them too, because i frequently do this.

Thanks again for sending me your ebook i look forward to continue reading it Kind regards Stephen

Hi Will. How's it going?

H here (assumed name). I am nearly finished reading your book and it is totally excellent. I can't tell you how much it has meant to me. This illness had taken over my life and I have not worked in 7 years. I will soon be returning to work and it's because of you. You've turned it all around. 8 months ago I was close to suicide. I had written my note and had the rope around my neck. I just didn't have the balls to carry it through. Since I discovered your site I have made more progress than in 10 years of medication, therapists and other self-help books...

Thank you for your help, H May 24 '08

Sent: 02 February 2009 01:27:01

To:

Hi Will,
Thanks for the update! You are doing a great job!
I was wondering if you are familiar with zen buddhist teachings. I get the feeling this is exactly what you have used to get free from your anxiety/depression (quit fighting, just let everything flow)? many thanks for your support and guidance
Henning

Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2009 09:31:03 -0800
From: ...
Subject: Re: 'The Mind Works' Final Version
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Hey Will I wanted to respond and thank you for the update. Your book has helped me tremendously and I felt great for about 4 months until I had a few setbacks the last few weeks. It's interesting my anxiety has changed over time from panic and fear to frustrating and obsessive thoughts. I guess since I know understand the crux of my problem it no longer sends me into panic mode. I just cant seem to get over the hump of "overthinking" though. For example, I went to New York city with my family a few weeks ago for a leisure weekend. When I woke up in the morning to drive down to New York from Boston I was feeling fine but as I was getting ready to leave I just starting thinking about the song that seemed to be playing in my head over and over. Then I started to get fruustrated and anxious that here I was going to have a fun relaxing weekend and all I was doing was worrying that I couldn't get this thought out of my head. This feeling basically stayed with me for the whole weekend which was so frustrating. yes it would come and go but I just couldn't seem to release it.

I find it so difficult to think forward and not worry about past experiences. Although I feel like I am light years ahead of where I was this singular problem is a real challenge. today I am leaving for Florida and then getting on a cruise ship for a week and I am struggling between being very excited and worried that my thoughts are getting the best of me. Ultimitely I know I'll be fine and once I'm there involved, I'll laugh at myself for feeling this way now. I just wish I could live in the present and not react to every negative thought.

Thanks for doing what you do.

Warm regards

J

On Tue 17/02/09 12:45 PM , katie sent:

Hi Will. My name is Katie(age 22) and I have read your book(after my friend gave it to me following her recovery of anxiety). I have found it very useful and do believe myself to be in the second stages of recovery. I too, have read the book by Paul David and found that very useful too. That book made me accept the thoughts as anxiety, whereas your book helps to deal with the thoughts when they become obsessive.

I have had anxiety for five months now and Im at the stage now where, im dealing with the thoughts when they become obsessive. I use your boxing ring method as the way to deal with these thoughts. Is it normal for these thoughts to keep returning despite using this method,as im at the beginning of this stage?Because it is a habit and takes time for it to go?? The more practise i use the method the better I will get at it i keep telling myself.

My thoughts have been about those closest to me and was very disturbing at first and sometimes I will get the odd thought that will catch me off guard and then I will go beyond that cut-off point and analyse that thought and go into secondary thinking, but then eventually it will go again after repeating to myself 'I aint going to fight it' and imagining the boxing ring. I'm at the beginning of this stage of getting over the obsessiveness and making myself think a bad thought-as its so clear to me now the difference between having a natural thought compared to a habit thought! Any advise you could give me I would be very grateful for.

Thanks

Katie (action to both above - pointed to updated version) On Thu 19/02/09 5:36 PM , katie sent:
thanks for that will, il let you know how i get on with it. I def notice wen i have a habit thought now and make myself think summat bad. i just need to get over that now-and def find that my thoughts seem to get to me more during'the time of month'. Sorry for that- but iv related this time of month as when you said in your book that if your stessed, ill,tired etc it tends to be worse. thanks for the reply katie
On Mon 2/03/09 9:37 PM , Tina sent:

Hi Will

I've had a good read through The Mind Works and taken in all that I think I can at this stage. It all makes lots of sense to me and I can see how I can start to use the techniques. I can really relate to the primary/secondary thinking and the fight/flight responses (I am predominantly a fighter I thnk). I am stuck on a few areas though and it would be great if you had time to help me just understand a bit more how to apply this to my situation. Don't worry if you don't have time, I'm sure that you have lots of emails!

So....the situation is this..I am 44, have been depressed/anxious for a number of years - have recently become more anxious as my husband decided 3 months ago that he didn't love me any more (in particular he feels I am controlling and too anxious - I feel the two are connected) and is currently (whilst living with me) thinking about what to do about this. I have two boys of 12 and 18 - the sixteen year old is dabbling with drugs, which concerns me. I work in marketing in a fairly pressured environment.

So....what I'm trying to understand is this:

* the atmosphere in the house feels pretty tense at times to me and I find it difficult when my husband seems remote and unfriendly - when I am up I feel it drags me down and when I am down I feel that it pulls me down further - so for example, my husband was very quiet all of yesterday and I felt a sense of dread all day - you say.. ¡®Any repetitive thinking, or subsequent repetitive behaviours are ¡®post¡¯ cut-off .... I'm trying to interpret this - does this mean that my sense of dread is a pretty constant primary thought or is the dread my repetitive reaction to my husband's behaviour and therefore secondary? - I feel like the dread comes to me but it's hard to just let it stay there until it goes away as it's pretty constant - in this situation should I try to remove myself from the situation and distract myself from it or is that a mistake? I sometimes have to be there and just get through this as I feel I can't keep going out and leaving the kids

* I sometimes get a build up of anxiety over a period of days - what I think are lots of secondary fighting thoughts coming from plenty of negative primary thoughts building up to make me want to explode - I then tend to want to get answers from my husband and talk it out and sometimes push him into difficult conversations (which end badly) as a result - am I right in thinking that if I let each negative primary thought go then I will stop this build up situation? is it as you say here? "You have to ¡®break the chain¡¯ here, which does take self-belief and courage - but I managed this based solely on the fact that ¡®I felt instantaneous mental relief¡¯ when I avoided ¡®fighting¡¯ my initial thoughts. I would then have to ¡®trust¡¯ that I would sort myself out ¡®without¡¯ this secondary fighting - which is my definition of ¡®drawn out¡¯ anxiety." Also, just checking but is this intensive talking with my husband a form of flight (I used to get quite angry when I got stressed but now just become very questioning)?

* Would you generally advocate someone using sport / music / anything pleasurable as a way for someone to get through troubled times? I am doing this more and more (but I don't think obsessively) - its not a form of flight is it as it is in some ways "taking comfort" but good commonsense? It seems right to distract myself by doing things I enjoy.

regs

Tina ( I answer all emails by the way, as soon as I can)

On Thu 30/04/09 10:03 AM , Terese sent:

Hello Will

I came across your site/book through Paul's 'Anxiety No More' website. I have read Paul's book and been involved in the site for a couple of months. I have been wrapped up in this condition for 10 years plus.

I now know that ALL of it is through over thinking and watching myself - the way/perception I have of things makes the steam that makes this unpleasant state that I've been wrapped up in daily.

I do not want to get involved in the 'search' anymore - but I am keen to understand , so that I am able to rationally think/not think. As I was a little nervous of getting the book I mentioned it to Candie and she thought I would be fine as it works on the same basis as Paul does of 'acceptance'.

So I look forward to reading the book and increasing my understanding and my road to recovery.

Thanks Kind Regards Terese

Hi Terese - all I will say at this stage - is we will 'always' live that fine line between destruction and production as that is who we are - however, if we realise to go with us without 'reacting' to us - as you will see this is where I say we enter a 'forced' after reaction - we will then be able to 'modify and moderate' our intensity. Take a look anyway and don't be too afraid as I hope my book doesnt bite!! cheers Will and feel free to come back whenever.

On Sun 10/05/09 3:58 AM , Brian sent:

Will,

I know you must get bombarded with emails, so I understand if you can't get around to respond to this, but I had to try because I'm desperate right now.

I am in a very weird situation right now and don't know what to do. I discovered I had anxiety a year ago when I found Paul David's website who, as you know, preaches a very similar message as you. For awhile I noticed amazing progress. My attitude on life was changing, and I could feel my body healing slowly. It was absolutely incredible.

This lasted for about 5 months, until somehow I slipped back into my old habits. I feel like I have been in my old worrying, panicking habits for about 8 months now. This is just so bewildering and frustrating because I know everything about my problem and how to fix it, yet I continue to fight, feel horrible, and worry uncontrollably.

I first found your website a few days ago, and it made me feel so good when I did. I had been on Paul David's anxiety blog for awhile, but that just wasn't working, and when I found your website it just felt so refreshing, and I thought maybe this will get me home. However, now I am back to just feeling horrible and like I am not doing anything right. This has been the cycle I am in for awhile now: I think of something on Paul's website that makes me feel really good, then I think maybe I have it figured out, only to come crashing back to panic and worry.

I would love to hear any thoughts you have (although I fear that whatever you say may make sense or make me feel good for a little while, but then suddenly stop working). I just can't believe how good I was doing for so long and now be in the horrible place I am now and have been for many months. I am sorry for throwing all of this at you, but I just can't help it. Thanks. Brian

On Mon 11/05/09 9:33 PM , Brian sent:

Hi Will, thank you so much for replying to me. I just wanted to tell you that since my last "desperation" email, I had a great realization while reading your book that I really believe has brought me back to the present.

I mentioned before how I first discovered I had anxiety a year ago when I found Paul David's book. Like you, my anxiety started in my early teens (I am 20 now), and also like you, I would definitely characterize myself as sensitive, intense, and a perfectionist. Well I couldn't believe how great Paul's book made me feel. I was learning how to live in the present and just noticed extraordinary progress in my personality and general outlook on life.

This progress continued for 5 months, to the point where I thought I was almost recovered. Then one night out of nowhere I started having what you call negative primary thoughts. Obviously I had dealt with these before, but I think since I had been feeling so great before this, I kind of forgot how to deal with them. I started repeating some of Paul's teachings to myself, but by doing that I was engaging my secondary thought process, and it ended up only making me feel worse. At this point, I wasn't sure what was going on. Paul's teachings of acceptance were no longer making me feel better, and even visiting his website, which used to make me feel great, was now actually making me feel worse.

I cannot express to you how horrible this made me feel for about the next 8 months. I was so bewildered, confused, and also angry because I thought I understood anxiety and how to recover from it, yet here I was feeling horrible and like I was doing everything wrong. Even when I first found your website a few days ago it didn't make me feel better at first. In fact it only further frustrated and angered me because I was trying so hard to understand it, but the harder I tried to get it, the worse I felt.

What brought me back to the present was a quote on one of the last pages of your book. The quote is "Just 'think' what you think...don't force yourself to think." Reading that quote made me realize how hard I had been trying to recover by "forcing" all of the methods of recovery in my head. I was thinking so hard about what you and Paul say, and I wasn't just allowing my normal thoughts to flow. I am feeling so much better now - much like I did when I first found Paul's website a year ago, and I can tell it is just going to get better for me as time goes on.

I wanted to share this with you just to let you know the impact you have had on my life. Thank you so much, your doing a great thing, and I know so many people are grateful for that.Thank you,Brian

Hi Brian, Many thanks for your comments - and, yes, this can be so confusing, but is the reason why so many of us suffer with it! We are 'always' so close, but not close enough! When it 'twigs', it all becomes so clear - keep me posted if you need any further. cheers Will

From: John..
To: doyoupanic@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Mind Works Final Version
Date: Wed, 27 May 2009 22:42:22 +0000

Hi Will. What a brilliant way of explaining things. I received the Final update of 'The Mind Works' on tuesday morning and have read throught the majority of it. I have had anxiety with depersonalisation for 2 and half years. I thought i was recovering but rapidly went downhill last November and have experienced some very dark times since. Thanks to 'At last a Life' by Paul David i have developed an understanding of my condition and with it less fear. However, i have still been getting very frustrated by the condition and increased isolation. I constantly say things like relax and accept. I have realised how much effort I have been putting in and overdoing everything. I have adopted your approach the past two days and have noticed a marked improvement. There is an extremely big temptation to start 'overdoing' things again and fight (Such as saying, 'chill', 'you dont need to fight' or 'concentrate' ect) but i understand this is because that has been my habit for 2 and half years and is what comes natural to me at the moment. I should have faith that in time it will keep getting easier. Anyway, i just wanted to say that i can see an initial small improvement and i hope this will continue. Thanks
John

17.1.08 This is a great book. Wilde Ursula (RWR) Herts Partnership FT

On Mon Feb 4 19:58 , 'AC' sent: Hi Will, my name is A, i got your book around a month or two ago now, and think its really good. It has helped me but i am still in the process of putting it into practice. I know you've said it, but I just wanted to ask again about the symptoms of anxiety, i mean if im right is it my way of checking thoughts, holding onto thoughts, that is then causing me to be alert of what im doing, that is then causing me to be anxious, because im scared of what i have just done/doing. and then this is causing my nerves to be sensitised (anxiety) which is causing the terriable symptoms (derealisation/depersonalisation, feeling like im on another planet lack of emotion) i feel disconnected, did you feel these symptoms? It feels as if my learnt behaviour, keeps topping up my nerves with a little boost of anxiety, because i keep doing this holding onto thoughts, fighting, and just as i start to heal ill have another thought i hold onto and check, then become anxious which keeps my benchline level of anxiety at a higher than normal level, and keeps this illness alive, or symptoms alive. Does this make sense to you? i would be pleased if you let me know what you think of my theory. thanks for the book, i reckon that the penny is going to soon drop and i am going to be so happy.i think you really are right, i have looked at other peoples sites/methods who have cured themself, and this is what they have done with out really hitting the nail on the head, when they have put it into words and developed there own recovey strategy. i dont think they have been able to pin point what it is they have stopped doing.will keep reading cheers A

On Tue Jan 29 21:32 Anon sent:

I left the house with the intention I would travel to a hotel and take an overdose, but I know I didn't want to for the sake of the family.
My wife sent me endless text messages asking me to let her pick me up, which in the end she did. We talked and talked ...... I thought that would be the end, but it's not, my thoughts keep coming - I trawled the net and found your book, I must confess it helped and I am only still up to page 70 I have been trying your process..... Anon

On Tue Apr 15 19:02 , pdavid@anxietynomore.co.uk sent:

Hi Will, I just wanted to say well done on the book and I hope it is
going well.

After re-reading your book Will, your book would be the first thing I
would be happy to recommend to others and it would be the first time I would
use my massive email list and post a link from my very active blog.
www.anxietynomore.co.uk/blog All the best! cheers Paul

Patient-View.com

We have written a review of the book 'the Mind Works', appearing in the ¡®Publications¡¯ section of our latest bulletin, due to be sent out tomorrow. The bulletin goes to our 600 UK and 3,400 overseas members.

Dr. Alexandra Wyke/Clive Nead

May 1st, 2008, uk

The UK group doyoupanic is advising that The Mind Works, a 293-page book written in 2007 by doyoupanic¡¯s Will Beswick. Under the subtitle ¡°making sense of it all¡¯¡±, the publication analyses panic attacks, and suggests a programme of recovery. Describing recovery as an exercise in self-belief and focus, The Mind Works identifies the differences between ¡° ¡®real¡¯ control and ¡®forced¡¯ control¡±. Topics mentioned include:

¡ñ ¡°I¡¯m not talking about medication here. I¡¯m talking about REAL recovery, based on understanding. You¡¯re not mad¡ªin fact, you¡¯re very much the opposite. Understanding is everything¡±.

¡ñ ¡°Understanding panic: the main point is not how we respond to others, but how we respond to ourselves¡±.

¡ñ ¡°Isolate the process! Don¡¯t fight or run from the imperfection¡ªit has already happened. You will cope¡±.

The book contains numerous letters from people suffering from panic, followed by advice offered by the author, who uses these as anonymised case studies to illustrate the subtle variations in types of panic attacks. Priced £12.50 [approximately US$ 24; Euros 15], The Mind Works is available at the following link: [http://www.doyoupanic.co.uk/8.html]

On Wed May 7 20:34 Hi Will ¨C you certainly have taken the ¡®sting¡¯ out of worry for me. Many thanks for all your hard work with this book. It really is unbelievable that you have nailed it down to a completely sensible yet simple solution v- that works! People ¡®on the outside¡¯ just don¡¯t know what goes on, as we can be quite devious really in making everything 'seem' ok on the out ¨C I¡¯m a compulsive worrier ¨C and yet now understand and have applied everything you say and still can¡¯t believe that I feel ¡®rational¡¯ for once in my life! Thanks again Majorie (you can use my first name Will if that¡¯s Ok)?

On Sun 25/05/08 4:25 PM , candie sent:

Hi Will,

I've just finished reading your book, which was from Paul Davids Anxiety No More Website. Your teachings make so much sense, just like Pauls accepting method.
Your book has taught me that its ok to think how i think, its not the thoughts causing my suffering- its my reaction to them...

I know now exactly what i have to do, and its fine to have any thoughts as the brain is capable of thinking anything, and it is only a harmless thought. I know i just need to learn not to obsess, fight, investigate thoughts then i wouldnt get the the 'fight or flight' panic response anyway. I am so close now to recovery, ridding myself of the thoughts is no longer my goal.. as iv established they are not the issue. Its mainly old thoughts, that reappear that i cant float past as i got to myself so wound up i thought i had an urge to act on them. I know its a matter of time now before i find full recovery...

Thankyou for your time,

Candie

On Fri 6/06/08 4:16 PM , Di sent: Hi Will,

...I have been reading your book again today, the first time i read it i wasnt aware i was forcing myself back into thoughts... so i didnt understand how my thoughts were secondary. When i read what you are saying in your book it is like i could of wrote some of the examples myself. I have felt a lot of relief today reminding myself that there is no need to fight something that has already been dealt with... so i have been able to stop myself from fighting back into these thoughts.

I have only suffered for a year because of this habit, so i am optimistic that it shouldnt take me too long to get the hang of things- although i do have patience! Only for the past 5 months have i been a fighter, before this i was a flighter and i must say it is far worse being a fighter!

Thanks D

On Fri 6/06/08 4:54 PM , Karen M sent: Thank you will,I know I have been worrying, but as you know, you get frightened that there is something seriously wrong. I have the fear that I have no control & that I am going to lose control all together. I do silly things that set me off, get so confused & panicKed... Gave out my old phone number & swore blind I had given my new one. Please forgive my rambling. I get frightened because my Aunty had Alzheimer's. I want to be strong, but haven't quite mastered the art of telling my self that its ok & not to panic & that its only anxiety, but the fear is that its not just anxiety.Thanks Will, this book has been such a help & comfort. Karen.

On Fri 6/06/08 8:36 PM , Jen sent:
Thanks Will, I think this is going to be the thing that is going to lead to my recovery you know! I have tried allsorts of remedies in the past but i can just tell this is the one as the relief i feel when i dont fight is incredible.... its the same relief i feel when i have hit rock bottom and given in to the fight, yet its better as i dont have to hit rock bottom to feel it!

You are a remarkable person, if one good thing came from all you suffering it is that it has and will bring the end to the suffering of so many people. Thankyou also for taking the time to answer my questions.

You are not on your own!!....Feb '08 Paxil Forum Re: intrusive thoughts??

exactly, you cannot 'win' the fight against anxiety, whilst I know only too well how horrific any form of anxiety illness is including OCD, I am 100% sure that everyone has it within them to recover, once you 'understand' the illness it is then possible to go about recovering..by 'doing nothing' about those thoughts, everybody gets bad thoughts but only some try and explain/fight/run away from these thoughts and end up in the vicious circle of anxiety. Mad Scotsman, I want you to have a look at a website called http://www.doyoupanic.co.uk/. This guy suffered OCD and recovered, he wrote a book which I bought and read over the weekend which made a tremendous difference to me, I would urge you to consider buying this book, hopefully he ships overseas. I have read it all and this book was the missing piece for me. I have also started listening to holosync meditation which I imagine some of you have heard of. Its not a quick fix but I have read of some remarkable recoveries from people suffering serious mental illness inc anxiety and OCD. Jimmy

Re: intrusive thoughts??

Oh my god Jimmy.
I totally identify with what this guy is saying at http://www.doyoupanic.co.uk/.
He's describing what's been going on in my head.
And when he talks about the time when he was convinced he had AIDS and went for the test and it still didn't help.......the exact same thing happened to me. Uncanny.
Thanks again....I'll buy the book for sure. M

On Sat 14/06/08 3:41 AM , Peter sent: Hello will!! Just bought your book there think it is fantastic! I am an ... cheers Pete

On Mon 16/06/08 11:24 AM , PETER sent Will Thank you so much for replying to my email jus having some one to talk to about this illness is a huge burden lifted of my shoulders,thanks so much for your advice im so glad I found your website and got your book much appreciated pete

On Mon 16/06/08 8:54 PM , Carrie sent hi will, i hope you can give me some advice, i am in the middle of your book which i am finding a great help, finally it's nice to read about the actual process which goes on in the brain instead of the physical side of things all the time. i have been on 10mg once a day of citalopram since nov last year, i think this has kept the edge off things..............thanks so much Carrie

Thu 19/6 Hello Will, hope you are well? Just thought I would let you know how it's going.

You were absolutely right about the fact that the ISSUE would disappear in time. I have been trying your techniques & have noticed that my reading & the repetetive words/sentences have lessened & that I am slowly mastering the control over the panic. (but I have noticed other friends/family doing similar errors & question if what they do is correct & worry about their welfare). Since your last Email I have also decided not to visit the anxiety help site that I joined, as I felt that I was constantly reminded about anxiety. It does seem to have helped me have a more positive outlook since not revisiting the site, as I was always seeking reassurance. I would like to thank you Will, as the more I study your book, the more I understand what you mean. I know it seems to have taken me forever to read your book, but I read it when I specifically make time for me to relax. Thank you for your understanding, Lynn.

21/6 Hello Will,

thank you once again for all your help. I realise now, I slipped backwards after a good few up days & perhaps got a little over confident, so the last day & a half I have been doubting myself & started questioning again, or as you say DOING instead of NOT DOING. The release I had from the constant worry was a lovely feeling & a welcome relief, so I will strive to understand your method for alleviating anxiety/panic.

I also meant to tell you in my last Email, that I have mentioned your site & book on several occasions in the hope that it will prompt individuals to look up your site & perhaps be able to help themselves rather than stay stuck in a continuous cycle of panic.

So many thanks,C

21/6 Thanks will, you are a really kind person, i have been told by a phyciatric nurse at the doctors who was helping me with my anxiety that i have an active imageination which like you say people like this are prone to the illness. he didn't really go into depths about how the mind works which is why in the end i didn't really find him helpful. this is such a scary and lonely illness it's nice to relate to people who know exactly what you are going through which gives relief. i went out with some girls last night with who i used to work with 5 years ago, i was nervous but panic nervous which i know is over the top but i still went i won't let it make me cancel things!! i had a good time. any sign of shit, i am now ignoring, saying to myself it's not me it's my illness and if bad panic occurs it can be all of a sudden no time to control i then just deep breath and say calm there's no need to panic, hopefully all this together will get me back to ME! i will stop bothering you now, thanks so much to take time out of your own time to help me. Amy

On Thu 26/06/08 7:37 PM , Ad sent:

Thanks Will, Yes everything you say makes sense. I know in my heart you have put me on the right path but I was just feeling a bit of doubt. I think it is just a case of carrying on down that path until it is all second nature to me. I've finished your book and it just leaves me to thank you for putting me on that path as I was utterly lost. You have changed my life. If I have any further questions I will get in touch if that is okay?I hope many more people discover your website so that their suufering can come to an end. All the best, A

On Tue 12/08/08 4:07 PM , "Harrison E" sent: Hi Will, I have been reading your book and can't thank you enough for putting me on the right path. You've given me understanding when no-one else could. I am amazed how different I feel - just hope in time, I will live my life without that temptation to 'react', as I know you say it is now out of your system completely - you're in 'automatic flow', as you put it. So interesting to see where you're at - and how that can inspire us all. If ever I can help you/your cause in any way, then please don't hesitate to ask. Thanks again! Harrison

On Sun 24/08/08 4:58 PM , candie sent: Hi Will, I dont know if you remember me, but i got your book a few months back from Paul Davids anxiety website. Well i thought i would email you to let you know how i am getting on. Well at first it was hard to stop my self fighting, the urge was always close to home; however i have come to the stage now where i am confident enough to remind myself its ok not to fight and panic over silly thoughts and then let them go. I still have obsessive thoughts, but 8/10 i can let them go now and not take a second look and provoke myself into panic. I was just...

On Mon 25/08/08 3:02 PM , candie sent: Hi Will I 100% believe that its my reaction to a perfectly normal thought now, so its easier not to fight... for so long i believed the thoughts were the root cause of my anxiety.. i supose i have come a long way as i dont even take them seriously anymore. I used to look at people and think why cant i be like them, but like you i have come to the stage where i am comfortable with my own mind now... i totally agree with the character type thing!
Feel free to put this out, anything that helps others is ok by me :). If you could just give my first name that would be fine. I think its great people are opening up about this illness, as it has been brushed under the carpet for so long because the medical proffesion dont really understand it. I have come so far through accepting my thoughts and using your method of recovery. Six months ago i was a wreck! I didnt eat, sleep and my thoughts consumed me. I even begged my doctor to section me at one point as i thought i was going insane! I was also dependant on medication, which was never enough. I supose im telling you this as i would like you to mention this too, as i am living proof your method of recovery is the only way forward. I now enjoy my life, look to the future just about of the meds completely and believe i am going to be ok. Looking back i cant beleive how bad i was, it scares me to think how i would be now if i never found yours and Paul Davids books! Thanks Candie

On Fri 10/10/08 12:53 PM , ak sent: Thanks for the update Will. I would say that I am now fully recovered from the anxiety I suffered from. A lot of this because I caught it in its early stages and your book was very helpful in helping me really understand the condition.

I still enjoy reading around the subject and my new email is... so if you could send any more correspondance to that email it would be appreciated.

Thanks

An

On Mon 13/10/08 12:18 AM , candie sent: Hi Will
Just thought i would email you and let you know how my recovery is going. Well things are getting easier, i am having some really good, happy days. I dont see my thoughts as strange anymore, i am me and i am learning to be content being me! The only thing that worries me slightly is that even though i no longer panic react to thoughts, they still come to me lots by habit! Is this fine, as i have gone with the presumption it is and with time memories and bad habits will fade. Thanks Candie

On Sat 8/11/08 3:20 PM , Faith sent:
Hi Will Came across your web-site the other day and was so impressed I purchased the e-book.You've given me hope when I'd just about run out of steam! The relief I have..

Many thanks! Faith

Do You Panic? Awarded 5* by the UK Mental Health Foundation - A Personal Case Study in Recovery From Obsessive Panic & Anxiety.

DY Panic 2. Panic recovery is based on understanding our 'reaction' is the real problem.

DY Panic 3. This panic process is one of 'fighting or flighting' - ie we fight to regain control 'actually' after it has happened/or run away from the 'threat' AFTER it has actually passed - as a result - we're stuck in panic, because we are trapped in a 'no win' situation.

DY Panic 4. Many e-mails keep coming in re- 'letting go' and the confusion surrounding this. Remember 'panic or anxiety' is when we try to force 'control/force our running away'. Now, the misconception here is that 'letting go' means 'letting go of all controls'. This is 'wrong' because we don't have to do this as we 'can' get control - see primary 'positive' controls at bottom of recovery page. This is very important.

DY Panic 5. 'Momentary' panic/anxiety can happen 'initially', like for everyone, but if we react - it becomes prolonged/frequent and repetitive and turns from primary to secondary.

DY Panic 5. Panic Anxiety - there are 2 different 'reactions' - we can fly or fight - mine was a 'fight' response very cosely associated with 'perfectionist' character type. An internalised reaction. Flighter panic is very much an externalised 'more visible' emotional loss of control - see actions of the Flighter i.e. CHPS 2, 3, 4, 5, 7 and 8.

DY Panic 6. Panic Anxiety Reason why this is so confusing is we can't separate real 'primary' control and 'secondary' overcontrol - it is a very fine line. Nevertheless - I have separated the exact process - the difference between primary and secondary thinking IS this CONSCIOUS FORCED fighting OR flighting process, which then brings about destructive panic.

DY Panic 7. Panic Anxiety. Awarded 5* by the

Mental Health Foundation - panic 'sets in' we erroneously force our reaction 'after' our natural cut-offs have dealt with our thoughts..no need for panic.

DY Panic 8. Panic Anxiety - you can only get 'focus' in your life, when you accept you ARE different to 'anyone' else. Then you can accept there is no need to 'question or run' from yourself if you have 'true' self-confidence. Panic Anxiety is very similar as you question/flight from your 'initial' thoughts. Don't be mistaken - as my study shows - this is not the only thing you question - you also question/run from/ignore your initial positives as well as negatives - but many of us don't see this. That's why panic is still a problem when we 'let go' as we think this means 'loss of all control', but this is 'forced' behaviour yet again - as there is a natural ability to accept positives without reacting to them - but this 'comes to us' NOT by 'us going to it'.

DY Panic 9. Panic Anxiety The purpose of the book is to give sufferers the chance to 'follow this understanding through' with more specific examples from my experiences and others' recovery. Clarification is, of course, important for all of us to accept who we are i.e. our initial thinking IS ok.

DY Panic 10. Panic Anxiety - when you are low, stressed, depressed etc - these are the threats to your very existence. Hence, the reason why 'understanding' where 'real' control comes in, is imperative in our recovery from prolonged/frequent panic /anxiety