ISOLATE THE PROCESS!

'Don't fight the imperfection - it's already happened and is about to go - you will cope'

This is a very definite outcome for me, where I have really 'zoomed' in confidence since understanding this illness. The fact is, a lot of this problem does stem from a lack of self-confidence as said, we all have to learn to accept who we are. However, whilst that may be a difficult journey for us all to follow, for me, it has meant that I have really had to accept the way I feel and, funnily enough, I have then had 'all the control' I have ever wanted, as I no longer had the need to question what I thought.

You will see that this is really about us staying with what's CURRENT in our thoughts. The MORD ('Recovery' page) and COPAST Diagram (Journal 7) show that we unnecessarily 'go back' into our negative and even positive thoughts. We, inadvertently 'hang on' to these thoughts causing greater confusion and 'repetition', as we're 'stuck'. Our 'reaction' may differ because of our personalities - some of us may 'go back' by fighting to understand these thoughts, whilst others may 'take flight' or 'run away' from the perceived 'threat'.

...... Thanks Will again without you I would be still in the sh*te. It is horrible situation to be in, and when you read other people getting stuck I so feel for them. But its so eeasy. How long did it take you to figure it out? Hats off to you. I was thinking (oh god!?!?!!) ,well it was my brothers idea, why dont you set-up a forum on your web site I would love to help other people, perhaps another persons view would be useful. Anything I can help with your site, please be free to ask Anyway thanks  N Jun 06

So why did this cause all this anxiety and obsessive behaviour? Well, I think that when you can’t 'come out' of a problem, you tend to, inadvertently, hold on to it. As a result, the 'obsessiveness' was simply being 'stuck' in this internal confusion with no way of knowing how I could escape it. Indeed, it was my natural 'fight' response to deal with this and, hence, the reason why 'letting go' was such a relief.

What really caused me a lot of pain for years was a lack of understanding as to what actually happened. I had to isolate the process which took place, as I had a basic understanding of why I was struggling, but I didn’t know how to stop it happening. Again, when I felt really low and anxious one day, my mind was in its’ usual process of racing in despair and I suddenly realised that I was actually 'forcing' myself in to this behaviour of explaining. Even though it was very enticing, I could clearly recognise this process was unnecessary, and as a result, I felt better. Throughout the next day, there was a real temptation to keep explaining 'how' I was thinking, but I knew what to do and gradually, as time went on, I eradicated this behaviour.

So for those who have really suffered with this, I think there may be some understanding from what I’m saying and that, because I wanted to understand everything in life, there was a tendency to explain compulsively.

Realising that, amidst all the confusion, there is no need to follow this temptation, I operate normally.

  ©   will@doyoupanic.co.uk