...THIS IS ALL ABOUT GOING WITH YOUR MIND, NOT AGAINST IT - 100%
'If you don't flow, you don't let go'
‘Not only is our panic an adverse, magnified 'reaction' to very normal thoughts and feelings, it is also an attempt to ‘over’-control our discomfort, ‘post’ thought. We need to ‘know’ that we can get control subconsciously and momentarily. There is no need to consciously ‘force’ this after the event’
'Whatever ‘comes in’ will come in - the good, the bad and the downright ugly! We just have to accept this and flow through it. By learning how to correct our bad, flow-breaking habits, we can then work towards achieving that natural, subconscious 'optimum-but-imperfect' flowing state. If you'd like to listen, I will show you how!'
Awarded 5* by the UK 'Mental Health Foundation'
Endorsed by 'The National Phobics Society (now Anxietyuk.org.uk)' and 'NoMorePanic'
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This is really an 'issue' of pain avoidance. However, 'all' we end up, actually, achieving is 'double' the misery, as we 're-invite' the pain when its' already gone!
We CAN learn to 'trust' in our natural ability to cope and that our fear of 'losing' control is really unjustified (no matter 'how' stressed we are!), as we are simply 'trying' to control something that has 'already' happened. Our 'pain' should only, ever, be momentary. Understanding that this is all 'split-second' stuff will empower you and enable you to recover from this dreadful, but simple affliction.
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Do you have any of the following feelings, or thoughts?
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DO YOU panic/feel anxious frequently?
or
DO YOU feel constantly depressed, worried and 'stuck' in a rut, feeling there is no 'apparent' way out?
or
DO YOU feel detached - 'out' of your body, in an unreal, dreamy world?
or
DO YOU feel anxious/petrified/horrified about your negative thoughts, or even paranoid at times?
or
DO YOU give the impression you’re fine on the outside, whilst you're 'raging with panic' on the inside?
or
DO YOU feel you are mad/odd/weird and no-one could ever understand how you feel/think?
or
DO YOU get 'intense' about 'so' many issues? Do you feel silly/guilty, or 'abnormal' about this/feel you have a self-destruct button?
or
DOES your mind wander/run away from you/race incessantly?
or
Do you struggle with grey areas/dilemmas?
or
Do you struggle to deal with 'mistakes' - anything that's 'not' perfect, or put yourself under 'too' much pressure to succeed?
or
Do you 'dwell' on things, or maybe think 'too' hard/'too' deeply? Alternatively, do you run/hide from the nearest 'scent' of any 'threat' to your well-being?
..................... Do you have any of the following 'follow-up' actions/behaviours (i.e. the 'second, over-controlling' strand of panic)?
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DO YOU obsess/have an addiction which you just 'can't' crack. Does it make you really unhappy/unhealthy/destructive in so many ways?
or
Do you 'repeatedly' act/behave/cope in certain ways?
or
Do you constantly try to fight/escape/hide/run from your thoughts/feelings?
or
DO YOU feel anxious, or compelled to 'follow' up destructive negative thoughts/impulses like self-harming/destroying you/others around you - emotionally, or physically and feel that you 'should' be this way?
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I will show you how you can 'sail' through all of this 'over' thinking/reacting and learn 'how' to flow through, what 'should' be, only the momentary pain in life. The experience of the moment is something we can never forcibly change, as it's already 'happened' by the time we decide to react to it - however, once we understand this, we can move forward by flowing through it. I will also show you that you are very normal - it's just your over-reaction which isn't.
MAYBE you ‘feel’ it more than most – but, does that mean that you can’t lead a happy life?
MAYBE if you wrote a list of all those things that are making you're life so difficult – you WOULD realise that times can be very hard and that you could also realise - WITHOUT the unnecessary anxiety – that it IS possible to move forward and 'through' these problems – in the moment. Many sufferers who are recovering (see reviews/comments pages) know the immediate relief from panic abstention, but also learn to be patient with ‘being in flow’, as it will take time to brush away our built-up negative/edgy/down state, as maybe you've been 'out in the cold' for so long?
ALL I will say at this point, is that all panic is characterised by a conscious TENSION PAUSE.
This is what ‘breaks’ the flow of our thinking. As you will see – our ONLY problem is HOW we ‘react’ at this pause – as we erroneously/inadvertently and consciously 'think' we have to ‘do’ more than we 'have' to. In fact, for the panic stricken/repetitive over-controlling sufferer to recover, they need to do ‘less’ at this tension pause – to get us ‘back’ in that momentary flow, which we are being 'severely tempted' to come 'out of'.
You will also see that we CAN be ALL those things we WANT to be, as all we are ‘guilty’ of is over/after playing thoughts that have ‘been and gone’ – playing a constant game of 'catch-up’ if you like.
This applies to BOTH negative and positive thoughts. Our panic actually ‘gets in the way’ of getting ‘more’ control in our lives. Rather than trying to intensely force our negatives to go/positives to ‘stick’ after the moment, we can, in fact, get control naturally and momentarily ... and in the ‘flow’ of our thoughts.
'It's NOT about 'what' thoughts we have, but 'how' we DEAL with those thoughts'
In conclusion, you will see that if we successfully ‘deal’ with our temptation to break the flow – we will THEN be able to get all the control we want – albeit in the moment. We will be all that we want to be ‘as a result’ of our momentary experiences – which must be ‘allowed’ to happen, or we will simply be making an ‘issue’ of what has already happened – to keep in flow with life. We get things in the wrong ‘order’ to 'sort out/escape' from our discomfort. Ultimately – we owe it to ourselves/those who love us – to stay strong and deal with these challenges – as there IS a way out from this 'very' unhappy state.
One thing that I have learned through all of this, is that we CAN break the unhappy chain and move forward, IF we understand that, whilst we will never have complete and conscious control of our lives, this is, in fact, our problem. Life's bark is, indeed, louder than its' bite. If we are willing to 'try' to understand what makes our lives so miserable, we can then put a STOP our miniscule every-second 'forced' over-reacting and, ultimately, the fear of ourselves.
Whilst you will see that the 'solution' is actually very simple - the reason so many sufferers 'can't' break the panic chain is because they don't 'understand' what's happening and why. The reason this site 'developed' in to a book, is because there was so much confusion/lack of confidence and ultimately, a lack of understanding, which I knew was the 'main' tool in my recovery (see also 'Advice Column' sections). It IS very difficult to 'hold off' your panic when you don't understand what's happening to you. This understanding is what I aim to clear up - 'how' the mind works and 'how' we can successfully 'apply' that very simple, common sense solution - which does make complete sense - because it works.
So - it's 'vital' we understand this illness and, in turn, understand ourselves - as we 'do' live on the edge - however, it is possible to make headway/move away from this state and also 'persevere' with that 'living in the moment' solution. It's something that DOES take perseverance, with the caveat that it's easier to apply than engaging in that alluring and unnecessary mind race. The 'Mind Works' may also prove to be a very useful tool in improving your understanding of this illness, as it gets such a grip on you that you need to 'armed' with all the information you can get!
No matter how odd/crazy you think you are, there is an answer to your plight. I know, I have been there.
With that understanding, we then 'know' we can consciously 'decide' which of those two 'choices' we're going to opt for.
On Thu 11/09/08 1:20 PM , "Nicholas Watts" sent:Hello Will, How are you ?? I was just thinking of you the other day, I thought I should drop you a line! Things are going really well my end and I am about a year into my recovery. I sometimes got to pinch myself on how well I have recovered. The difference is mind boggling!! “Let It go works wonders!!!!!!!!” Any news with your work?Nick Watts
On Sat 6/09/08 10:44 PM , Danni sent: Hi Will Just coming to the end of reading your book - i think this will clear up a lot of confusion for many! All this time i was laying the blame on the thoughts, each time they repeated i got more mad with myself and desperate... but now i can clearly see i only got mad and desperate as i over reacted and tried to over-control thoughts which where perfectly acceptable to have. If the mind was not supposed to thing anything negative, then it wouldnt be capable of doing so and the world would be an idylic place!-everyone is capable of thinking a negative thought if they try to do so. This illness is simply going beyond the moment and compulsively over-thinking something. I see now the only difference with me and someone who doesnt suffer is not my negative thoughts.. but the over intense reaction i have to them .. which then leads to me taking another look at them repeatedly to gain clarity. I used to think my problem was repeatedly thinking negative thoughts, but the problem existed way before any compulsive repetition... it started when i decided to consiously question my thoughts.
I so get this now, isnt it amazing how once ya get an understanding ya can clearly see exactly where ya go wrong! I remember the first obsessive thought i have ever had, it was a couple of years ago... and thinking about it - it only stuck as i was going though a very stressful time and i linked the anxiety to the thought. like you say though perfectionists/flighters live very close to the edge. Once i had that thought my anxiety took on a downward spiral and i seemed to throw more and more negative thoughts at myself... caused by lack of confidence and understanding.
Also, is your book available hardback copy, I would like to use your it for a future assignment. Thanks, Danni
Hi Danni, thanks again for your kind comments - it makes a big difference when you say all the work has been worthwhile, as I can't bear to think of people out there suffering when there IS a chance to understand - whether you fight or fly from situations!.
Sorry book is not available in hardback yet - only paperback, but you know I'm always there if you need any more info. You know, I really just don't panic anymore and am in ‘complete flow’. Oh and re your comment on the 'invention' of negative thoughts - this is why I think we all have these 'challenges' ...to 'relish' when we overcome them, as they are never easy by their very definition! The 'movement' to a 'state' where I 'no longer' 'force' myself into further intense conscious panic is really a great place to be. I am me, like I'm sposed to be me - troughs/peaks an all - BUT – nevertheless, moving forward 'in the moment' all the time. Any panic/anxiety sufferer can reach this stage - I know it, have seen it and can see it – it’s ‘simply’ understanding…and a little bit of mettle! cheers Will
On Mon 25/08/08 3:02 PM , Candie sent: Hi Will I 100% believe that its my reaction to a perfectly normal thought now, so its easier not to fight... for so long i believed the thoughts were the root cause of my anxiety.. i suppose I have come a long way as I don’t even take them seriously anymore. I used to look at people and think why can’t I be like them, but like you I have come to the stage where i am comfortable with my own mind now... I totally agree with the character type thing! Feel free to put this out, anything that helps others is ok by me :). If you could just give my first name that would be fine. I think its great people are opening up about this illness, as it has been brushed under the carpet for so long, because the medical profession don’t really understand it. I have come so far through accepting my thoughts and using your method of recovery. Six months ago i was a wreck! I didn’t eat, sleep and my thoughts consumed me. I even begged my doctor to section me at one point as I thought I was going insane! I was also dependant on medication, which was never enough. I suppose I’m telling you this as i would like you to mention this too, as I am living proof your method of recovery is the only way forward. I now enjoy my life, look to the future just about off the meds completely and believe I am going to be ok. Looking back I cant believe how bad I was, it scares me to think how I would be now if I never found yours and Paul David’s books! Thanks Candie (see also on 'More Reviews' section)
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Copyright will@doyoupanic.co.uk - please note these pages represent my own ideas. To use this material, please ask my permission or credit this site if it is only to make a reference.Many thanks.
