So, to continue from the previous page: “At the point of anxious discomfort, you are actually coming out of that stressful thought.”

Therefore, there is nothing more you need to do at this point.

If you engage in forced analysis — How do I get out of this feeling? Why am I feeling this way? I need to relax. I must control this — you simply create more of an issue around an anxious feeling that has already begun to pass.

Hopefully, it makes sense to see that recovery is, quite simply, about letting go of the urge to move into the combat zone.

A simple mental recognition that you need to deflate — to briefly take your foot off the pedal — can help divert you from the temptation to force control over your thoughts.

What will happen next?

As outlined in TMW, you will see many examples of sufferers realising that they can naturally flow on to other thoughts when they don't hold on to their anxiety.

Learning to mentally deflate and calm briefly can therefore help you remain rational when you are stressed, rather than becoming caught up in the urge to control what you are thinking or feeling.

The Reality

During periods of constant stress/'down' days and discomfort, the temptation to do something about that stress will remain very strong. This is why perseverance and understanding is so important.

Each time you feel the temptation to tense up further, the aim is to divert away from that response rather than engaging with it.

TMW provides many examples of how this applies across different situations — OCD, avoidance of social situations, obsessive thinking and more — showing how these patterns can be recognised and naturally averted.

I am always available if you have questions: will@doyoupanic.co.uk

Remember, you can get around this. There are processes you can change — and, in fact, it is often easier to stop interfering with your natural thinking process, no matter how tempting that interference may feel.

As you will see in the next part of the website, and in more detail in the book, positive controls can begin to emerge naturally 'within' your automatic thinking process.

 

***Daily Diary of Recovery

See below for an advice session which the anonymous sufferer has kindly allowed to be put on here...see the subsequent diary of recovery below this.

20 minutes in the day - profiling session with ‘X’

As X records her stressful thoughts from 845am – the spikes are shown with varying intensity i.e. if it’s a 'higher stress' feeling then the spike is higher and repeats. We start at spike 1. and move through to point 9.  Recording finishes at 905am. This depicts how very frequent stress 'prods' can lead to that forced combat response.

 1. Thought about someone she likes – although frustrated that it’s not happening. Subsequent feelings of stupidity for thinking so frequently about it as he’s with someone and maybe not remotely interested. There are a few spikes about this issue.

2. Thought about taking dog for a walk while driving – too many people where she’s driving to – wants to feel calm and away from distractions – turns round

3. Feeling of guilt – not working currently and slightly bored

4. Thoughts about later that day and also being bored, off work on sick

5. Feel depressed/alone - why are all these thoughts so negative one after the other

6. Memory about mother and feel upset she suffered when she passed away – wished it wasn’t that way

7. Thought coffee package had arrived on return to house – not there, was a letter instead

8. Feel frustrated career not reached level she wanted it to

9. Problem with tight chest – wondering what it could be. Subsequent spikes wondering what it could be – feeling panicky

 This 20-minute summary details all the negative ‘moments’ this sufferer had – but is very typical of a day for so many – if you see the flow line – of course our aim is to keep that line flat without spikes, but as you can see – we ‘can’t’ help the fact that we spike – negatives cannot be pushed away...we just have to let go of the temptation to take 'further action', no matter 'how' frequent. By staying in natural thought flow - 'then' we have a chance of more positives coming in to help us deal with stress and thus avoding having a life obliterated by spikes.

Also refer to diagram below to match with points 1-9 above Once we recognise that negatives can have this effect we need to work on creating an environment which has 'less spikes' to deal with

So, first thing - Important to know that being in the ‘zone’ in life is about being calm.

Why?

 

Because negative thoughts cause ‘spikes’ (in tension).

 

This can’t be helped as it’s the body’s natural way of dealing with something it doesn’t like.

 

Whilst we have gone into detail as to how we deal with those spikes (ie letting go rather than holding onto them)… we ‘still’ need a more upfront strategy to reduce the need for us to calm at each spike.

 

Starting the day…

 

Once you understand why you feel so uncomfortable so often, you can then start to make headway with the often intolerable amount of discomfort you suffer.

 

Identifying what makes you spike is essential and also a very positive step in you taking control of your life rather than letting it control you….

 

There are an enormous amount of daily stresses so take a look at this plan I set up with the lady who detailed her spike chart above.

 

1. Start the day right… whether you’ve had a bad night or not… don’t thrust yourself straight into stress… her plan was don’t read the news on phone (immediately sets negative down tone and spikes/stress what is happening in the world). Having a tense mind also sets you up for further negative thoughts regarding other things as you are elevated (on the lookout for other negative issues)
2. Only check highlighted messages from contacts you need to respond to… anything else that you can delay until later then do that (by looking at a work message early on, she felt the guilt about not working so she could have avoided this).
3. Take your time early on… you are far more effective if you think clearly and get what needs to be done without emotional interference and more possible stress  - slow walking - preparing coffee/breakfast - leaving TV 'off'.
4. All these steps help you stay in calmer flow and focus with less spikes (that you need to calm about)!
5. Being aware that you need to avoid spikes is essential for the rest of the day and becomes a better habit as you get used to it…. It ‘doesn’t’ mean you become an ‘avoider’, but does mean you are more in the present when you talk to people… stress spikes have a great way of taking you out of a conversation and struggling to concentrate.
6. This is a starting point for you and you can develop it, or as this sufferer did, having liaised frequently to understand how her calmer flow and happiness can be improved.

Nobody likes spikes of tension and discomfort but once you understand that being a sensitive, maybe perfectionist can lead to a life dominated by discomfort and tension and all the physical symptoms that go with that, you may start to take positive steps to a happier, more confident existence, looking after 'you'.